Phoebe Gates, the youngest daughter of Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates and philanthropist Melinda French Gates, is opening up about the complicated feelings that came with growing up in one of the most high-profile families in the world.
Now 22, Phoebe recently reflected on what it was like to leave her family’s $130 million estate—nicknamed Xanadu 2.0—to begin her college journey at Stanford University in 2021. On the debut episode of her new podcast The Burnouts, which she co-hosts with fellow Stanford alum Sophia Kianni on Alex Cooper’s Unwell network, Phoebe spoke candidly about the anxiety she felt over her identity as a so-called “nepo baby.”
“I had so much insecurity and such a desire to prove myself,” she shared. “I was like, ‘I have so much privilege. I’m a nepo baby.’ There was so much insecurity around that.”
Despite the perception of an effortlessly charmed life, Phoebe’s experience was more nuanced. She spent her childhood in Medina, Washington—a tech enclave near Seattle—inside one of the most elaborate private residences in the U.S. The Gates’ 66,000-square-foot estate, complete with high-tech features and panoramic lake views, was built by Bill in the 1990s and served as the family’s primary residence for decades.
But during Phoebe’s senior year of high school, her home life was turned upside down. In May 2021, Bill and Melinda publicly announced the end of their 27-year marriage. By that point, her older siblings—Jennifer, now 28, and Rory, 25—had already left for college, leaving Phoebe as the only child still at home.
To maintain stability, Melinda made the decision to remain in the family home with Phoebe during that final year. In her upcoming memoir The Next Day, Melinda reveals that she asked Bill to move out so that their daughter’s routine wouldn’t be disrupted. She also opens up about the emotional toll of the split, sharing that she began having nightmares in 2019 about their house collapsing—a metaphor for her deteriorating marriage. 
“I had this image of the whole family standing on the edge of a cliff, watching me fall,” she writes, describing a turning point that came during a trip to New Mexico in early 2020 when she told Bill she wanted to live separately.
Interestingly, Melinda had long had mixed feelings about Xanadu 2.0. Though Bill began building the mansion before their marriage, she later tried to halt construction, only to eventually rework the plans with a different architect. “Just to be clear, the house was being built before I came on the scene. But I take responsibility for it,” she told The New York Times in 2019.
Today, following their divorce and Phoebe’s move to Stanford, Bill has reclaimed residence at the Medina estate, while Melinda is living in a smaller home in Seattle, close to her women-focused investment firm, Pivotal Ventures.
As for Phoebe, she’s since relocated to the East Coast. Her LinkedIn profile places her in New York City, where she’s working on her sustainable fashion startup, Phia, and continuing her podcast work. It’s not publicly confirmed where she’s living, but in early 2023, her parents reportedly purchased a $51 million penthouse in Manhattan for her sister Jennifer. The luxury building, known for its celebrity residents like Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds, is a haven for privacy-seeking high-net-worth individuals. Whether Phoebe lives there or nearby hasn’t been confirmed.
Despite their own separate lives, the Gates siblings still return to Medina frequently. In a January interview with The Times, Bill Gates explained why he hasn’t downsized from his enormous home.
“My house in Seattle, I admit, is gigantic,” he said. “My sisters have downsized. I can’t. I like the houses I have. My kids like to come back—that is a luxury. I don’t cook, I don’t make my own bed, but I don’t mind if no one has made it—I wouldn’t notice.”
As Phoebe charts her own path in business and media, she’s clearly aware of the privilege that comes with her last name—but also seems determined to define herself beyond it.
